Blessings!
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
Scotland!!
We've made it in safely! It was quite a long journey, it is 3:30pm Wednesday, Central time and we have been awake since Tuesday morning at 6am! We are quickly becoming accustomed to Scottish lingo, as it's very important (pants mean underwear here, that is a bad one to get confused!!) God is doing amazing work here in Niddrie, it is so encouraging to see their faith and their desire to share the gospel. Tonight we had a great night of prayer with the church members. I was asked to share my testimony along with Alex too. God is so good!! I can't quite keep my eyes open any longer, more to come soon!!
Friday, March 11, 2011
Heartache
"In fact, I remember thinking that if the world does not hate us, perhaps we should question whether we really are part of another kingdom." - Shane Claiborne, The Irresistible Revolution
My heart aches. It aches with such sadness that I hardly have any words left to utter. Why do we so desire to be of the world?? Why are we stuck??
These struggles continue to challenge the deepest depths of my being. I am continually challenged by what it means to be an American. I wonder if I am part of a social oppression just by being born an American citizen. I can rightly say that this is not my fault, but even so, because it is fact, do I have a responsibility to counteract an unearned privilege that was given to me at birth? Could I not just as seemingly been born in an African hut or an over crowded Indian street? Does my birthplace inherently change the capacity of my intelligence or my worth as a person? Absolutely not. We are all born helpless children with the same needs of food, protection, and love. But our world is set up so that the geographic location of our birth can determine our societal worth instantaneously. Jesus showed us a way that this could change. He showed us a new kind of love, and love has the power to overcome oppression, anger, hatred, and a multitude of sins. Jesus taught us that we now have brothers and sisters in Christ and we are to take care of them, not as if they were are own, but because they are our own. I continue to struggle with these thoughts, and I understand that the fact that I struggle with such things means I am alive. I continuously go back to Romans 8:18 which says, “I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us.” God is a just God, and I trust him fully. I am not sure how I could struggle through these things without knowing that something truly good existed. But I do, and that’s what keeps me going.
I have to admit that I am really struggling with the multitude of wealth in communities around me. I do understand that many of these people don’t see what I see. They have preconceived notions and stereotypes about people who are not like them but it is so frustrating because they won’t listen to what I see. They don’t want to know. But I see something entirely different than their world view. I hear case presentations on a 5 year old who is already a gang member by relation to his older brothers. He has witnessed countless murders and his common family fights include pulling out knives. I see a woman working 50 hours a week just to put food on the table. She grew up in an orphanage in a bad part of town, they usually weren't taken to school so she does not know how to read. She is a grandmother and she has stepped up to care for her two grandsons. Their mother is a drug addict and cannot care for them. She needs our help. I see a refugee from South America, raped and beaten in front of her entire family by government authorities. Her family fled here for safety several years ago. They all speak very little English. The mother has a master's degree in accounting in her home country, but she has spent the last several years working as a hospital janitor to provide for her family. She has never missed a day of work. She continues to struggle to provide for her family both physical resources and an emotional safety net. They are spit on, called 'aliens', made fun of, laughed at. They need our love. I see a single mother escaping her abusive husband. She has left everything behind to keep her baby safe. She works a full time job, though most of her minimum wage pay check goes to child care. The only apartment she can afford has mold and led paint. She knows it is not safe for the baby, but she has had to choose between there and the streets. She needs our care. I sit at a table of five war veterans. Many are disabled, most suffer from emotional traumas like PTSD. All are homeless. They have come to have a free breakfast at a community event. One notices my purity ring. He asks me about it, and we dive into a deep conversation about our love for Jesus and his feelings of hopelessness. Last night was his first night to be homeless. He lost his job, he can't find another one. His savings are gone. He has no family to turn to. He needs our compassion.
These stories go on and on. And so does the heartache. My heart won't stop aching. How God's heart must hurt. We are the Body. We are His church. We ask, how can God allow these horrible things to happen? And I believe he whispers back an echo to us. How can we, who claim to love Him, use our platforms as leaders or our wealth or our authority to pursue such worldly things. I want all Jesus, all the time. I can't find how to get there amongst all of the noise.
My heart aches. It aches with such sadness that I hardly have any words left to utter. Why do we so desire to be of the world?? Why are we stuck??
These struggles continue to challenge the deepest depths of my being. I am continually challenged by what it means to be an American. I wonder if I am part of a social oppression just by being born an American citizen. I can rightly say that this is not my fault, but even so, because it is fact, do I have a responsibility to counteract an unearned privilege that was given to me at birth? Could I not just as seemingly been born in an African hut or an over crowded Indian street? Does my birthplace inherently change the capacity of my intelligence or my worth as a person? Absolutely not. We are all born helpless children with the same needs of food, protection, and love. But our world is set up so that the geographic location of our birth can determine our societal worth instantaneously. Jesus showed us a way that this could change. He showed us a new kind of love, and love has the power to overcome oppression, anger, hatred, and a multitude of sins. Jesus taught us that we now have brothers and sisters in Christ and we are to take care of them, not as if they were are own, but because they are our own. I continue to struggle with these thoughts, and I understand that the fact that I struggle with such things means I am alive. I continuously go back to Romans 8:18 which says, “I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us.” God is a just God, and I trust him fully. I am not sure how I could struggle through these things without knowing that something truly good existed. But I do, and that’s what keeps me going.
I have to admit that I am really struggling with the multitude of wealth in communities around me. I do understand that many of these people don’t see what I see. They have preconceived notions and stereotypes about people who are not like them but it is so frustrating because they won’t listen to what I see. They don’t want to know. But I see something entirely different than their world view. I hear case presentations on a 5 year old who is already a gang member by relation to his older brothers. He has witnessed countless murders and his common family fights include pulling out knives. I see a woman working 50 hours a week just to put food on the table. She grew up in an orphanage in a bad part of town, they usually weren't taken to school so she does not know how to read. She is a grandmother and she has stepped up to care for her two grandsons. Their mother is a drug addict and cannot care for them. She needs our help. I see a refugee from South America, raped and beaten in front of her entire family by government authorities. Her family fled here for safety several years ago. They all speak very little English. The mother has a master's degree in accounting in her home country, but she has spent the last several years working as a hospital janitor to provide for her family. She has never missed a day of work. She continues to struggle to provide for her family both physical resources and an emotional safety net. They are spit on, called 'aliens', made fun of, laughed at. They need our love. I see a single mother escaping her abusive husband. She has left everything behind to keep her baby safe. She works a full time job, though most of her minimum wage pay check goes to child care. The only apartment she can afford has mold and led paint. She knows it is not safe for the baby, but she has had to choose between there and the streets. She needs our care. I sit at a table of five war veterans. Many are disabled, most suffer from emotional traumas like PTSD. All are homeless. They have come to have a free breakfast at a community event. One notices my purity ring. He asks me about it, and we dive into a deep conversation about our love for Jesus and his feelings of hopelessness. Last night was his first night to be homeless. He lost his job, he can't find another one. His savings are gone. He has no family to turn to. He needs our compassion.
These stories go on and on. And so does the heartache. My heart won't stop aching. How God's heart must hurt. We are the Body. We are His church. We ask, how can God allow these horrible things to happen? And I believe he whispers back an echo to us. How can we, who claim to love Him, use our platforms as leaders or our wealth or our authority to pursue such worldly things. I want all Jesus, all the time. I can't find how to get there amongst all of the noise.
Thursday, March 10, 2011
Fellowship
Paul's words spoke to me tonight in a new way.
It is right for me to feel this way about all of you, since I have you in my heart; for whether I am in chains or defending and confirming the gospel, all of you share in God's grace with me. God can testify how I long for all of you with the affection of Christ Jesus. And this is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight, so that you may be able to discern what is best and may be pure and blameless until the day of Christ, filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ - to the glory and praise of God.
~ Philippians 1:7-10
Father, my prayer for my church, for my own Philippians, whom I long for as Paul speaks about, my prayer for them is Philippians 1:9-10. This has been the outline of my prayers from them since I first came to CFBC, and here I find it, beautifully written by Paul. Father give them a strong faith. Give them knowledge and insight. Give them discernment on what is best, and pure, and blameless. Let them always bring glory to you. I love and care for them so, that at times, my heart aches. They are so precious in your sight, even more so than in my own. I ask, God, for you to take hold of our hearts, give us a strong faith, use us for the glory of your kingdom. Guide us as we seek you, both personally and collectively.
I understand in a new way the reason for thanksgiving when we suffer trials of many kinds. Through my trials, God, you have blessed me tenfold with a faith I could have never known. Are trials the only way we can strengthen our faith and develop perseverance? If there is someone in remnant who requires this, then my prayer for them, out of the deepest love, is for them to battle through their trials, surrounded by a fellowship of believers, cling to you, and develop a faith that can move mountains. And together, then, we can be a remnant among a lost generation. Make it the desire of our hearts to exalt Christ for the glory of God through the empowerment of the Holy Spirit. Let us not be radical but magnificently simple as we respond to your call to go among all nations and make disciples. And as we go, let us always glorify you in everything we do. Your Goodness keeps me in a star bright awe, it consumes me and overwhelms me because I know I am not worthy. Only Jesus has made me worthy of you, and for that...my knees weaken. A sinner I once was and still am, but as I receive your grace, I am able to come up for air, gasp for your air because I was drowning so deeply before. Now I thirst not for air but for you Word, your glory, your love. Help us be a remnant Lord. Consume us. Let us go and proclaim that You. Are. God. That is all and that is everything you have called us to do.
It is right for me to feel this way about all of you, since I have you in my heart; for whether I am in chains or defending and confirming the gospel, all of you share in God's grace with me. God can testify how I long for all of you with the affection of Christ Jesus. And this is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight, so that you may be able to discern what is best and may be pure and blameless until the day of Christ, filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ - to the glory and praise of God.
~ Philippians 1:7-10
Father, my prayer for my church, for my own Philippians, whom I long for as Paul speaks about, my prayer for them is Philippians 1:9-10. This has been the outline of my prayers from them since I first came to CFBC, and here I find it, beautifully written by Paul. Father give them a strong faith. Give them knowledge and insight. Give them discernment on what is best, and pure, and blameless. Let them always bring glory to you. I love and care for them so, that at times, my heart aches. They are so precious in your sight, even more so than in my own. I ask, God, for you to take hold of our hearts, give us a strong faith, use us for the glory of your kingdom. Guide us as we seek you, both personally and collectively.
I understand in a new way the reason for thanksgiving when we suffer trials of many kinds. Through my trials, God, you have blessed me tenfold with a faith I could have never known. Are trials the only way we can strengthen our faith and develop perseverance? If there is someone in remnant who requires this, then my prayer for them, out of the deepest love, is for them to battle through their trials, surrounded by a fellowship of believers, cling to you, and develop a faith that can move mountains. And together, then, we can be a remnant among a lost generation. Make it the desire of our hearts to exalt Christ for the glory of God through the empowerment of the Holy Spirit. Let us not be radical but magnificently simple as we respond to your call to go among all nations and make disciples. And as we go, let us always glorify you in everything we do. Your Goodness keeps me in a star bright awe, it consumes me and overwhelms me because I know I am not worthy. Only Jesus has made me worthy of you, and for that...my knees weaken. A sinner I once was and still am, but as I receive your grace, I am able to come up for air, gasp for your air because I was drowning so deeply before. Now I thirst not for air but for you Word, your glory, your love. Help us be a remnant Lord. Consume us. Let us go and proclaim that You. Are. God. That is all and that is everything you have called us to do.
Thursday, March 3, 2011
Pride
I read the story of Nebuchadnezzar last week, but it keeps coming back into my thoughts. He was so full of pride, so unwilling to turn from his own ways. I know many nonbelievers like this. They are too full of pride to accept Jesus. They don't need to be saved, they don't need to be forgiven. "I can do this on my own," they say. Many times it brings me to tears, as many who I love deeply express this attitude in their lives. Sometimes I feel defeated, I want to throw in the towel, I am left with nothing but tears of frustration. But then God does a mighty thing. He tenderly draws me to the story of Nebuchadnezzar. He says, look closely my child, and you will find that I have dealt with prideful children of mine before. Nothing is impossible, do not give up hope. Your prayers are heard. For Nebuchadnezzar, a man bursting at the seams with pride, declared this:
"Now I, Nebuchadnezzar, praise and exalt and glorify the King of heaven, because everything he doe is right and all his ways are just. And those who walk in pride he is able to humble." ~ Daniel 4:37
Tears flowed as I read this verse over and over. Nebuchadnezzar's journey to this declaration was not easy. He fought against God and his need for a Savior for many, many years. But in the end, he honors the one true God.
Thank you God for this beautiful story. A story that restores my hope for those I love to come to know you. If it was me against the world, God, the world would win. But I don't have to fight this fight alone. I know you are with me every step of the way. Give me words to speak as I continue to share your word with those who are seeking something they cannot find but in you. Guide me as I strive daily to shine your light, to show the love of Christ to those around me so that they might question the source of my love and why it is unending. Fill my cup, God. Let your joy be abundant in my spirit. Let your love in me overflow to the ends of the earth.
"Now I, Nebuchadnezzar, praise and exalt and glorify the King of heaven, because everything he doe is right and all his ways are just. And those who walk in pride he is able to humble." ~ Daniel 4:37
Tears flowed as I read this verse over and over. Nebuchadnezzar's journey to this declaration was not easy. He fought against God and his need for a Savior for many, many years. But in the end, he honors the one true God.
Thank you God for this beautiful story. A story that restores my hope for those I love to come to know you. If it was me against the world, God, the world would win. But I don't have to fight this fight alone. I know you are with me every step of the way. Give me words to speak as I continue to share your word with those who are seeking something they cannot find but in you. Guide me as I strive daily to shine your light, to show the love of Christ to those around me so that they might question the source of my love and why it is unending. Fill my cup, God. Let your joy be abundant in my spirit. Let your love in me overflow to the ends of the earth.
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